A Reason To Live
by Kajune
Summary: 5 years after the death of Tsuna, on his 27th birthday, Gokudera wonders just why does he continue to live, when his reason to is already gone.


**Title** : A Reason To Live

**Disclaimer **: I do not own any of the Characters including KHR.

**Genre **: Friendship / Angst

**Warning **: Contains OOCness.

**Summary** : 5 years after the death of Tsuna, on his 27th birthday, Gokudera wonders just why does he continue to live, when his reason to is already gone.

**Characters** : Gokudera Hayato

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><p>Gokudera remembers the days when the morning sun meant happiness. Each and everyday he would rise up and feel glad to see it, even if it did keep him from sleeping peacefully. The fact that he could see it meant that he was alive, and still able to be with his friends. That was what was most important to him. To have reached a new day along with everyone he holds dear, was an honor. After every greeting from the sun, he would rush to get a chance to see the smiling faces that brightened his day further. Oh so very much, did Gokudera hold pride in his capability to stand side by side with his friends, either on the battlefield, or during fun trips out.<p>

His birthdays were the best, for he would be greeted by his friends before he woke up, and they would celebrate. The limit of their friendship with him gets revealed and extended. At times a few of his friends do become annoying, but that was only natural, and although he would never admit it to anyone, he liked every single second he spent with everyone. He cherished them all.

Now, the morning sun means depression.

Having lived many years after those days which he cherished, should of made him much more delighted, but, the very people that made him want to live are no longer with him now. He trained, fought and did everything possible to grow stronger to protect, but when the time came to use that power he barely managed to save himself, let alone his now perished comrades. A few members of his former group of friends are still alive, but that's thanks their own power. They too must hate the morning sun, for seeing it means it has been another day, since loved faces have stopped appearing.

Today's morning sun is shining onto Gokudera, the man who has just turned 27.

Birthdays are now the worst. They further symbolize that he is living without some of his friends. The very thought that he managed to survive a brutal and bloody war alone, sets him into a complete state of sorrow that can never be cured. Tsuna, his most beloved friend, is gone. Lambo, his most annoying friend, is gone. Haru, his most weird friend, is gone. There are more to this list than he is willing to mention. Others are alive, and are mourning as well.

Tsuna was the center of every person that he loved and loved him. His death ended up breaking bonds shared between them and for 5 years now, Gokudera hasn't seen the survivors.

It is sad, isn't it? To live without a purpose. He lived to serve his dearest friend, but with that friend gone, what is left of a man in black with the habit to smoke?

A dying man once told him, he had nothing left. It was a statement to mock him, because Gokudera was going to kill him, but it sounded so true to him.

He spends everyday getting hired by others to kill, as a way to live and distract himself from sad thoughts. The money he earns, he uses to survive, with spare being used to buy more killing tools. Why though? Why is he still working hard to remain alive when he has already lost a meaning to live? Each day he hunts a target down, his life is already at risk, yet instead of letting himself fall, he fights with much skill to survive.

Why?

_"Gokudera-kun, happy birthday."_

Is it because, he seeks the single chance every year to remember that one sentence, once said to him by Tsuna? Back then, hearing it was all he needed to have a good birthday, for it made him so happy. If he ever got a chance to hear it for real today, he would be just as happy. Such a dear friend has always been everything to him. Without said friend, there really isn't a reason to live.

Maybe there is.

Until the memories fade, until he breaks from his sorrow, maybe there will be a proper reason to live...in this dump known as the world.

_"Don't die, Gokudera-kun."_

For now, he will just keep living, all for the sake of a lost friend.

He promised anyway, didn't he? That he won't die.

Not yet.

Not before he finds his new reason...

...to live.

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><p><strong>Owari<strong>


End file.
